Where Credit is Due

There are a lot of tough jobs. There are a lot of rewarding jobs. There are even some jobs that you can find on both of those lists. You remember the Peace Corps’ motto of “The toughest job you’ll ever love.” Ask my cousin, Angie. She can tell you if that’s true or not.

While I would not argue that the Peace Corps is both challenging and rewarding, I wonder if it is both of those things to a higher degree than any other job. Maybe part of that perception has to do with the fact that most people don’t consider certain things to be a “job.”

For a long time, I had a very particular dream. Not a recurring dream that would wake me up at night. A waking dream. A dream of how I wanted a certain part of my life to look someday in the future. After many years of dreaming that dream I have, for the past year-and-a-half or so, been blessed to be living that dream.

As long as I can remember, I always wanted to have a family. I wanted children to be part of that family and I wanted those children to be raised by their parents. Every part of me wanted to be able to not have to send my children to day care. I know that, due to financial conditions, this is not something every family can do. For the fact that our family is able to do that, I feel tremendously blessed.

It goes further than that, however. We are not only blessed to be in a financial position to raise our own children, though that is the primary reason why many families are unable to do so. We are also blessed because I have a wife who does do that. Every….single….day.

Whenever I actually take the time to stop and think about it, I am amazed at the divine providence that puts people together in such a way that they complement each other. If necessary, I could probably figure out how to get Kyle ready for school. I could figure out how to make sure the kids are fed, dressed, bathed, put to bed, read to, etc. I might even be able to figure out what “stuff” needs to be in Katie’s diaper bag before I go on some excursion with the kids.

You know what, though? I very rarely ever have to know how to do these things. There have been occasions when I have grabbed the diaper bag and the kids and took off. Only later to realize that I didn’t have a spare pacifier for Katie. Or that there were only two diapers in there. Or that I didn’t pack any snacks for either of the kids. Or any of several other miscellaneous details that I was completely unaware of.

My wife thinks of those things. She’s the one who asks, “Do you have water for Katie?” “Do we have a spare pacifier?” “Does Kyle have a drink?” “Did you bring their medicine?” “Are there enough diapers?” “Do we have wipes?” “Is there a spoon in there to feed Katie?” “Do you have a change of clothes for her?”

And that’s only for when we have to leave the house!

Even when it comes to an average Saturday where we don’t go anywhere all day, she punks me! I feel like I know absolutely nothing. “Honey, what should I feed Katie for lunch?” “Honey, what clothes should they wear? Can you set them out so I can get them dressed?” “Does she need shoes on?” “Which stroller should I take?”

Really? I can just imagine what must be going through her mind as I pummel her with such insipid questions that probably have answers far to obvious for me to know what they are.

When all is said and done, I know what stuff I do with/for my kids. But all the stuff I do is “big” stuff. Bathe them. Brush teeth. Put them to bed. Read with them. Change diapers. What about the bajillionty-seven little, tiny, easy-to-miss, hard-to-see details that she does every single day? Those little things that nobody ever notices until it doesn’t get done and you find yourself out somewhere trying to figure out how you are going to feed applesauce to a 1 year-old when all you have is the table-spoon that your waiter can offer you that would never fit into her mouth because the spoon is twice the size of her head.

All that to say this…I have never been in the Peace Corps and I have never been a stay-at-home mom. But if I had to pick which of those two was the “toughest job you’ll ever love,” I’m going to have to side with the mom! Nothing against any of you Peace Corps folks. I’m sure that’s a tough job. But my wife, I think, has the hardest job of all.

That is why I feel so very blessed. It’s not always rewarding (in fact, seldom so at this point). You don’t get days off. Vacations are more work than recreation. Yet, my wife is there….every….single….day. Being a mom. And being very good at it. Thinking of the little things that I am oblivious to. Making sure their tuitions are paid, doctors are visited, dentist appointments are made, car seats are adequate for their age and size, pajamas fit and are clean, clothes are appropriate for current weather conditions, food is available, they don’t get dehydrated, there is money on hand for the ice cream truck, the jeans with the holes in them are removed from use, hair is cut, tooth brushes get replaced, diapers and wipes are replenished, naps are taken and probably a zillion other things that I don’t even know happen.

Mommy does that. My wife does that. Joelle does that. And I just wanted to take a few minutes to give credit where credit is due. Because I don’t do that enough. And because I want, not only her, but anyone else out there to know that I know.

Joelle, I know I don’t say it enough. But thank you so much for making my dream come true. While I used to call you my Dream Girl, I guess now I can call you my "Dream-Come-True Girl." I love you.